A Child’s Bad Decision Can Hurt And Anger You

bad decision

When I first wrote about this a few minutes past midnight, August 2010, it had only been hours before that I had experienced an emergency situation in my personal life. My youngest son lost one third of his index finger on his right hand due to a bad decision. Mind you, I said a bad decision, not an uninformed decision. The resulting consequence not only caused me to hurt, but it also angered me.

On the previous day, 30 July, 2010, while cutting grass with a push lawnmower, my youngest son(19 at the time) made the bad decision of attempting to clear out the discharge chute of the lawnmower with his bare hand… while it was still running. Of course, you already know the result… he was seriously injured. His right index finger was torn and bone was shattered. He was supposed to return to the hospital the following Monday to have the damaged portion of it amputated because they say it can not be saved.

Now mind you, I have preached from the mountain tops to the valley lows to my kids about safety and dangers… particually when around and/or operating machinery. So, his decision to stick his hand into the discharge chute of a running lawnmower was a bad decision… not an uninformed decision because he knew better than that. He made a choice and decided it was too much trouble to cut the lawnmower off and restart it again after clearing the discharge chute.

The result of his bad decision caused him great pain and he admitted that it also caused him as greater anger at himself for not following the rules of safety which he had been taught. It also caused me great hurt and pain to see my son lose part of his anatomy, not only in my wallet to the tune of a $1,900.00 hospital emergency room bill… but also as a caring father and parent. At the same time, it also angered me that he made such a bad decision to go against what I have taught him.

At any rate, while undergoing this ordeal, I started to reflect on other bad decisions in my life which caused great hurt and anger. One in particular was the marriage to my second ex-wife which quickly ended in divorce with me and my boys being homeless. Yes, we were homeless in June 1998, sleeping in the parking lot of the post office in my van.

It hurt and pained me very much each and every day when I took my boys to McDonalds or Burger King’s bathroom to bathe and put a fresh change of clothing on them. Oh, did you realize there are no homeless or emergency shelters for men or single dads with children like there are for women? Well I quickly discovered that fact. There are also no federal or state government agencies or programs to assist or support a man with children like there are women with children and in need. It is a real punch in the face for males who choose to be men and fathers instead of deadbeat dads.

That is another subject for another time, and I will not elaborate on this sore topic for now. However, getting back to the hurt and pain I felt during that time of homelessness, I was also greatly angered at myself for making such a bad decision which subsequently resulted in my boys being homeless. Hey, I just wanted a good woman in my life, and to rear my boys in a home with a mother and father rather than merely a house of lonely misery.

However, the results spoke for themselves… I made a bad decision in my choice of a woman. I have reflected back on many more bad decisions made by myself and others I care for that have had unpleasant results. The result of this inner reflection and analysis… bad decisions can really cause hurt, and anger too!

How about you? Have you experienced hurt or pain, and anger at the same time caused by bad decisions you or someone you love or care for have made? What life lesson have you learned?

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